As the Thunder Roars

I am sitting in the living room, sort of laying/sitting on our couch, looking for a second job for this summer as a thunderstorm slowly drifts away. Actually it was quite funny tonight, my mom and I were talking about some of the painful things that have happened in my past. (hehe...thunderstorm is coming back) Anywhoo, as I became angry thinking over something as I was saying it, my voice got louder and angrier, just as this loud thunder rumbled through out the whole quick thing. Mom and I had a good laugh about that thinking it was so dramatic.

I am truly thankful this week is almost over. It hasn't been a horrible week, just very emotionally draining. Life isn't bad necessarily, (my circumstances do not determine my happiness) it just has been a long week. A few little things have come up, stuff like a lady I worked for and with last summer is dying. I am trying not to let myself think too deeply of it but I can't run forever, it's going to hit me that a lady I spent everyday with loving on her with everything in me to feed her, bathe her, get her out of bed every morning, talking with her, watching TV...it's gonna hit me that she has about a week left to live when I have a chance to realize the sadness of it.

Then there is this situation at work, that I had not seen the enormity of the situation till this morning. I need so much prayer in this situation, I am fighting the hugest spiritual battle in my life at a christian school. Those beautiful little people are not being treated right, I myself being beaten over and over again, and God's name in this place is no where near being glorified. That situation right then and there has completely ran me completely dry this week. I am so weary that I feel like collapasing on my bed and never waking up again. But I need to go to work, everyday during the week, and stand up for those beautiful amazing children and I need to stand up for gospel.

Pray...I need strength in this fight.