Update

So I lied...I do not have the flu. I have a sinus infection and acute (nothing cute about it) bronchitis. Funny thing all the problems fell on my right side. My right ear has fluid built in it, my right lung has the bronchitis, right nostril is plugged up, and my right side of my top lip started swell up. I went to a small clinic yesterday to figure out why my fever would not go down after four days. The friendly doctor took a long look at me, hour and a half to be exact, and found out the cause of all the joy I have experienced in the last almost week. Just to warn you, if you do not like the idea of things up your nose never allow yourself to get tested for the flu. Ughhhh.

I have a graduation party to attend tonight. I would consider not going at all, but my initial plans would have not let me. The graduate was bummed. Then I found out I could go and she gave me the biggest hug ever and couldn't stop smiling. Now, I cannot simply subject my friend to greater disappointment by not showing up. I may go for a little while as long as my energy permits me to show my face and support.

Tomorrow as far as church is concerned, I'm not sure if I'll be able to go. This bums me out because I love Sundays. Catch up on everyone's lives while joining in fellowship and gaining much needed encouragement from worship as well as spiritual smacks in the face from Pastor Bob. However, due to my sickness would it be very kind to share the lovely germs that I should be hogging to myself? I suppose I could not asschiote with the older crowd or the kids for fear their weaken immune syestems could come crashing down upon talking to me. But that's half the people I seek out on any given Sunday. Oh the turmoil! Haha...

I may just to stay home during church and then suddenly rise like the sun in time for our first VBX meeting and then another missions trip meeting. I feel so official, I have like four meetings in the next week with church. We'll see...

Everything stops

Everything came to a screeching halt early yesterday morning when I was slapped with the flu. I woke up at 2 in the morning and found it impossible to fall back asleep being I could not breathe out of my nose (which I hate, absolutely hate when I have to open my mouth to breathe) so I got out of of bed and watched television until 6:30. Then like a little child, I crawled into bed with my mommy and complained of my aliments. We figured my allergies were acting up so she got up and got some benadryl for me. By the time she came back, I was fast asleep.

After waking up and eating lunch is when I was offically smacked with the flu. I became achey. I was shivering even though I had six blankets ontop of me but yet I had a 102 degree fever. I fell asleep on the couch about six times during the day and really couldn't muster much strength to do anything else. I had class and work yesterday but it seemed physically impossible to get up and go to get something out of the kitchen, I couldn't imagine driving, sitting through a four hour class, and chasing sixty children.

Today, I feel much better. Now let me define better- no chills and fever has gone down a bit, but I'm still completely exhausted, still got a nagging cough, and nose is still stuffed up but I can breathe out of it! My ears are starting to give me problems, so the worst of it is still to come.
I will say this though, it worked out really well that I got sick this week. I was supposed to being working at a conference this week, starting tomorrow till about Sunday. I asked for the days off at work and used my last vacation days that I needed to use up before the end of the month. Well, my school schedule would not allow me to have to particpate in the conference but my boss gave me the days off already so I figured I would use the days to study and to do other productive things. However, I still had sick days to use and I wasn't about to make up being sick to use them so I waited for a legit reason to call in. Yesterday and today are my days that I consider legit sick days. So I get the whole week off to recover. Hopefully though, I can push past exhaustion and get some stuff done.

Where has the time gone?

Current music playing- Opening instrumental sequence for Unbreakable : )
Current mood- content in all facets
Current word- Disquieted (sometimes when I hear a word, it will ring in my head over and over until I find the definition of it)

As you can easily see, it has been a few days or more since I have updated this bad boy. Life has been a whirlwind of busyness for the last few weeks. I cannot even attempt to capture everything that has happened. Nothing bad I do assure you however, no news is good news. So much has happened since Good Friday and it would be torture for me to tell you of everything so I will have you look forward with me.

This summer is going to be one of my busiest summers of my life. I will be working, hopefully two jobs- one at the daycare and I am looking for a part time nanny position. (I know, working with more kids, what can I say? I love them) I do not have a lot of hours at the daycare right now and as much as I wish it wouldn't be a problem, I need a new car and I am taking part of a missions trip in a little over a month.

This missions trip is to Manitoulin Island (across the lake at the Sleeping Bear Dunes) in Canada to put on a VBS for an Indian tribe. I am not going to lie, I am absolutely thrilled about this trip. We will be, you'll never guess, working with kids....oh the shock of such an omission! I have been wanting to go on a missions trip since I left Jamiaca back in my graduating year of 2007! This trip has been such a God thing and I cannot wait to go on it! Right now I am preparing for it by being the group secterary, which I truly love. One of my weirdest nerd qualities is I love taking on the role of secterary. I love making copies, organizing papers, and taking notes...all that stuff!

Leading up the trip I am taking two classes- Nutrition (Tuesdays / Thursdays 8:00am-11:55am) and Sociology (Mondays / Wednesdays 12:30-4:00) starting tomorrow. I am truly excited honestly, I did some research on my professors and they had phenemonal reviews. Annndd maybe to have a right to complain and reason to get another job, I found out I will be travelling something like 200 miles for class for the next months. Yay. Especially with this gas prices our president of change increased...by change maybe he's hoping will trade in our cars for tennis shoes since soon we will be walking everywhere. Haha. Small minor rant. ; ) The nice thing is the classes end two days before the trip and everything else that I have going on this summer.

I am of course working in VBS as well. For the sencond year I will be serving in VBX, the ministry for upcoming sixth graders. We have a stellar team that I am so excited to work along side with. Along with talking about VBX, this summer I have been asked to start teaching in Ignite on Wednesday nights. I have taken the awesome responsiblity and I start next week. Amazingly enough this Last minute Lucy who writes this blog has already written a rough outline of her lesson which is The Great Commission. Ohh...I gotta come up with a title. The Great Commission not for the fainthearted. Haha...we'll see!

There's more this summer will be filled with but I should go now. Currently I am housesitting and I should do some cleaning. Last night I had some friends over (with the permission of the owners) and we had a M. Night Shymalan marathon. The dead people, unbreakable heros, the creepy aliens, those we don't speak of but tend to speak of a lot, and the pale water lady all lasted us till about five o'clock this morning. It seemed we had a competition who's energy could go all night. Yours truly just started to fade at like three in the morning in the middle of Lady In The Water. Someone had asked if I was sleeping, I replied no but dozed off shortly after for a sencond. Ben holds the award for staying wide awake the entire time however, he cheated. His job during the winter entails him to be awake midnight through early the next morning. If it probably would have not been Sunday night, I could have done it without so much a blink. ; )

His Pain, My Gain

His Pain, My Gain

He cried

looking upward

no one replied

no one heard

His crying out

all this blood shed

this is what love is about

soon to be lead

to Satan's domain

where all souls found dead

but the Father's reign

strong and overpowering

roaring like a train

has Satan cowering

fearing judgement day

but we will not

it does not bring dismay

since our souls no longer rot

instead we will live

and forever praise

our lives we give

but a thankful song we raise

for here is the King

sit on bended knee

come let us sing

for He died for you and me

Survey Says

You want to learn more about Rachel? Well here you go. Here's a random survey I found...

1. Where did you take your profile pic? Germany overlooking a thousand year old city!

2. What exactly are you wearing right now? jeans and grey long sleeved shirt

3. What is your current problem? I need to take a shower, I smell funny ; ) but something's wrong with a water

4. What makes you happy most? mom always says in regards to me "its the little things in life that make Rachel happy." The best thing is having God in my life : )

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to? The True Art of Music by Thomas Newman...I am instrumental nut!

So...theres a few firetrucks down the block from my house and I am wanting to go check it out, I'm a naturally curious person as it is, especially after the suicide.

6. Any celeb you would marry? if Chad Michael Murray became a hard core christian, I would definitely consider him...but until then, no thank you ; )

7. Name someone with the same birthday as you? well, James Earl Jones, Jim Carrey, Kid Rock, Maury (blah, get another birthday) Muhammad Ali. (not to brag or anything) My adopted grandpa, Denise (one of my moms friends from high school)

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience? many concerts

9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? I was told I look like someone...but I can't remember who. My best friends used to say I looked like Princess Leia to get me to watch Star Wars. Ummm nice try...but I did fall in love with movies.

10. Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows? I am with children all the time so I "have" to watch them.

11. Do you speak any languages?English and my own ramble

12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away? my grandpa, he was my first best friend and father like figure, I still miss him!

13.Do you ever watch MTV? when I am really bored (hardly ever) I'll watch Punk'd

14. What's something that really annoys you? Messy handwriting when Im taking notes for class!

Chapter 1:===============

1. Middle name: Louise

2. Nickname(s): Rach, Rae, Rachie (need to obtain special permission to call me that), Rae Moe, Lou, Bums of Steel, Rocky, Mo-Mo, Sarah's big sister, Shoot and Scoot, (dads are mean sometimes) The Truncate One, Kalina (means sky princess in Aramaic), Scout, Annabelle, Moeses, tons more...

3. Current location: couch in living room

4. Eye color: ocean blue eyes any guy can get lost in hahaha...

Chapter 2:===============

1. Do you get along with your parent(s): We get along great...for the most part, every once awhile we will butt heads because I can be unfortunately very difficult and stubborn

2.Are your parents married/separated/divorced? Married for nineteen beautiful years

3. Do you have any Siblings?: one lovely little sister Sarah (13 going on 14)

Chapter 3: Favourites===============

1. Ice Cream: my own Cold Stone creation- vanilla icecream with oreos and caramel

2. Season: spring

3. Shampoo/conditioner? Herbal Essence- Long Term Relationship for long hair

Chapter 4: Do You..===============

1. Dance in the shower? somehow I think that would end badly

2. Do you write on your hand? I was never allowed too so I stay away from it

3. Call people back? I'm pretty good at it...depends who it is ; )

4. Believe in love? I think I was in love with the idea of being in love

5. Ever talk to yourself? Ha...everyday...and I even argue

6. Any bad habits? time waste

7. Any mental health issues? say what you will...but Im fine according to my psychiatrist ; )

Chapter 5: Have You..===============

1. Broken a bone? surprisingly...no

2. Sprained stuff? my ankles

3. Had physical therapy? yeppers...painful stuff getting your vertrbrae in your neck to move

4. Gotten stitches? tough mainly voice "Who needs stitches anyway" nope

5. Taken painkillers? Yeppers...

6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling?No, but it would be awesome

7. Been stung by a bee? many many times

8. Thrown up at the dentist? not that I can recall, wouldnt be surprised though to find out

9. Sworn in front of your parents? haha first time I swore I said to my dad "Dad, open the 'Dang' door now" in third grade.

10. Had detention ? nope, all through out school career. The worse I got was screamed at but she later apologized because she thought it was me who was talking.

11. Been called a hoe?:

Mr. Jones: "What do you do when your wife wont listen to you"
Evan: "I'd slap the hoe"
Mr. Jones: "Now that your best friends with every girl in the class Evan, lets move on"

Chapter 6: Who/What was the last===============

1. Movie(s)? A Long Kiss Goodnight - pretty interesting

2. Three people to text you? Techincally I cant text but people keep texting me- Jenn Duff, Ben, and Macey

3. Person you called? Jenn Duffaroo : )

4. Person you hugged? my daddy : )

5. Person you tackled: an attempted failure on my dad

6. Person you talked to on IM? I havent signed on in awhile...i dont remember

7. Thing you touched? reese wrapper

8. Thing you ate? freshiest reeses ever

9. Thing you drank? in the process of finishing a Tropicana Strawberry Melon drink, I can just feel the sugar go right to my teeth

10. Thing you said? "Goodnight and Love you."

As the Thunder Roars

I am sitting in the living room, sort of laying/sitting on our couch, looking for a second job for this summer as a thunderstorm slowly drifts away. Actually it was quite funny tonight, my mom and I were talking about some of the painful things that have happened in my past. (hehe...thunderstorm is coming back) Anywhoo, as I became angry thinking over something as I was saying it, my voice got louder and angrier, just as this loud thunder rumbled through out the whole quick thing. Mom and I had a good laugh about that thinking it was so dramatic.

I am truly thankful this week is almost over. It hasn't been a horrible week, just very emotionally draining. Life isn't bad necessarily, (my circumstances do not determine my happiness) it just has been a long week. A few little things have come up, stuff like a lady I worked for and with last summer is dying. I am trying not to let myself think too deeply of it but I can't run forever, it's going to hit me that a lady I spent everyday with loving on her with everything in me to feed her, bathe her, get her out of bed every morning, talking with her, watching TV...it's gonna hit me that she has about a week left to live when I have a chance to realize the sadness of it.

Then there is this situation at work, that I had not seen the enormity of the situation till this morning. I need so much prayer in this situation, I am fighting the hugest spiritual battle in my life at a christian school. Those beautiful little people are not being treated right, I myself being beaten over and over again, and God's name in this place is no where near being glorified. That situation right then and there has completely ran me completely dry this week. I am so weary that I feel like collapasing on my bed and never waking up again. But I need to go to work, everyday during the week, and stand up for those beautiful amazing children and I need to stand up for gospel.

Pray...I need strength in this fight.

Can You Imagine?

So I did some reading on the car accident that claimed the lives for four teenagers this past week. My heart is so broken for everyone's lives affected. Those kids, were just that, kids. One was fifteen, two were sixteen, and the other was nineteen. They were just finding themselves in this world and then they were taken away. They were so young.

I cannot imagine what their friends and family are feeling. Sadness, anger, regret, resentment. Death has the tricky way of making you feel several emotions all at once. Their poor parents who now lost their children. I am told there is no greater grief then to lose your child. Can you imagine having to bury your child and not have it the other way around? Can you imagine having them one day and then before you can even blink, they are gone forever? Death is the horrible lock on the door that can never be opened again. *Shivers* I have experienced only one trully painful death in my life and that was my grandpa, my first father and friend. I was only six but the grief still was hard for me to shake off. But I cannot imagine losing someone now, where you able to process things more, and even have memories to haunt you, Ugh...

Can you imagine what these teens friends are going through? What if one kid had all four as friends? Losing all four in one night? I will tell you honestly, I HATE the thought of losing my friends to death. I know I will see them in Heaven again, but until then, it would be so hard.

Can you imagine the lady who did this? Her name is Frances Patricia Dingle. Most people are angry at her but my heart actually breaks for her too. I honestly think I hurt more for her then everybody else. Now I am against drinking and driving like anybody else. When I was in fifth grade of my friends Hannah's family and her were in car accident with a drunk driver. Her mother and the other driver died instantly. Her brothers faced terrible head injuries that last time I heard still leave them handicapped and I believe she is never going to be the same either. She was an incredible friend and so sweet. But to think, the weight of guilt after realizing what you have done, your stupid decision to drink and drive killed someone or worse, several people. To be honest, if that ever happened to me (regardless if I was drunk or not) I would wish I would have died in the crash along with kids. I couldn't live with myself. Can you just imagine how she feels knowing she killed four teenagers? She killed someone's daughter, son, aunt, uncle, sister, brother, friend. Can you imagine her in her cell, trying to sleep but the guilt weighs down on her heart and the only way she can sleep is by crying? Can you imagine living your life knowing what you did? Can you imagine have four families hating you?

I hurt for everyone in this situation. I hurt most for Frances and I am going to be praying for her as often when God brings her to my mind. I will be praying His mighty grace will be evident to her and she will cling to Him for forgivness of her sin. God has His reasons for this tradgey. We may find out in this lifetime or we may never know. He knows what He is doing. "He does all things for His glory and our good!"