Faith in the Unseen

Can you imagine how terrifying but yet beautiful it must felt to know that with in you, the King of kings was growing in your womb? To become a mother is one of the greatest times of joy in a woman's life, to be able to hold a child created in His likeness, with in you for nine months. You spend the next months with not only your stomach swelling but your imagination as well. But can you even begin to comprehend what Mary experienced in her nine months of pregnancy? Outwardly her pregnancy was forbidden, looked down upon, and even tragic. A young girl possibly thirteen at the time, pledged to be married meaning no exchanging of sexual relations, and yet with child. People would talk. People would see her growing belly and point as they whispered their deadly poisonous words. She, without any defense, would be accused of cheating on her husband when in fact she did no such thing.

Inwardly, her pregnancy was anything but tragic, it was a miracle. It was beautiful, inspiring, and even an awesome testament of faith in the unseen. She, who was found highly favored with God, was chosen to carry the Son of God. In a beautiful humility, she allowed God to use her to carry His son.

Mary and others like her, have heard all their lives about the prophecies that have lived through centuries. They had learned that out of her land what come a king. I dare to imagine that Mary never would expect her to be the one to give birth to this man who would save millions from the fiery depths of hell. When the angel greets her with his warm news of great joy, I wonder if she doubted that she, a sinful girl, could be able to be His mother. What had she done that she could be the mother of the savior she had heard about all her life. Did she feel honored, surprised, prideful, or scared, in awe of the weight of responsibility ahead of her.
Whatever emotion, she acted in faith by not doubting what Gabriel told her. She held her head up high as she was chosen to carry the man came to save the people that looked down on His mother. He even came to save her.

Up until this Christmas, I had never allowed myself to think deeply of Mary's role in Christmas. Of course, she was His mother but that is the simple way I would permit myself to think of it as. Mary, though not perfect or needing to be exalted, is an awesome description of faith in the unseen. Now two thousand years later, how do we live by faith? Do we merely skate by the wall of life so we can lean on it or do we venture out blindly to the middle and know that whatever happens to us, we will always have His hand to hold. Sometimes life is dark and scary where we cannot see anything in front of us. But you know what, that's okay. The darkness makes us realize how much we need light from the true source. You cannot appreciate light when you have not lived in complete darkness. : )

"The best garden a woman can grow- is her family"

Wow...what a week! It's been a fairly good week, emotionally and spiritually anyway. Physically, it defintely wasn't the best week ever. Headaches that last for hours, probably two hours a sleep each night, emptying out the contents of my stomach on Wednesday night, slicing open my finger with a knife, and other random stuff all adding to a fun week!
Last night I had the chance to go out to eat at OLIVE GARDEN (one of my absolute very favorite places to eat!) with my work for our Christmas party. It was soooo nice to sit back and relax with everyone not having five hundred children running around interrupting conversations. We exchanged gifts after we ate. I was sooooooooo excited to give my gift to my secret sister! I couldn't even talk to her all day at work because I was wayyy excited. Finally my turn came and I handed the gift over to her. She started to open it and then immeaditely starting crying leading three others to lose it. (to all men: women tend to see others cry and like a chain reaction others will follow) My heart pounded soooooo rapidly seeing her reaction. Her face though streaming with tears, was lit up in complete joy.
I put together a scrapbook page of her family and framed it. I put all of her three things in one gift- scrapbooking, her family, and gardening. I took the pictures of her family (which her husband gave to me) and cut them out like flowers. I used emblishement stickers like bees, butterflies and ladybugs for fun decorations. I labled it Robin's Garden with my quote "The best garden a woman can grow, is her family" It looks soooooooo more awesome then how I am explaining it. Just seeing her face, made the four hour job all the worth it.
I love spoiling people so much! I love buying gifts for them. Whether it's for Christmas, their birthdays, or just because I want too...its just so much fun to spoil people. Anywhoo...I should get some stuff done so I feel somewhat productive (I did get up at 8:00 this morning to babysitt so that was good...but Im aching for a nap. We'll see...)
Oh! To Kevin, the grammar nut, can you look at my love story I posted and lemme know if I made any grammar mistakes that should be fixed, puhweeze? Thank you kind sir.... : )

The End is in Sight

Take it from Liam, rasisins are not yummy especially when they come from your diaper.

Next Wednesday is my last day for this semester! You cannot possibly begin to understand how excited I am for this! As positive I try to be in all circumstances, this semester has defintely rated up there in the worst of all time semesters. The best part is in fact that none of the classes I have grown to hate over the last few weeks serve no purpose in what I am studying to become. Joy to the world...Once I finish, I will regain my life and will have it for a m0nth till I become drafted in the war called school.

On a positive note...I just saw Justin Timberlake walk by as I type my ramblings. I am pretty surprised a million girls haven't flocked him yet being how good looking he is. If your name is Julia, you are the only one who understands who I am talking about is the real Justin who graduated with us, not the ugly guy who sings in NSYNC (however you spell it, Backstreet Boys are sooo much better anyway) Soo Julia, my dearest Sunshine, he is good looking as always but even better he's still the sweetheart he has always been. Remember babe, I am your number one fan! : )

Once the last battle of this semester is over, I want together with people to watch various movies. I am kind of pulling for Elf, WallE, or Kite Runner (anybody besides Julia and Kevin up for seeing it) Anywhoo...today during my long two hour break between classes I have to work at the day care! Make sure not to eat any raisins and have a happy day! : )

New Short Story

***These two amazing people are who I have the joy to call my parents. They have been faithfully married for eighteen years. I love them so much and hope that someday my husband and I will be half of what they are. : )

This is my new short story for Creative Writing, lemme know whatcha think! It's a small-small part of biggest stories I have. Just be warned, my friends that bare the sex called male: Its extremely gushy and romantic, I am a girl and there for I write what would have me both giggling but yet crying as the hopless romantic I tend to be. : )

The Bald Prince Charming

Josh has always been fastidious about his hair, always. This statement rang true while I knew him and before. He constantly had his dark rich brown hair spiked up or styled. One time during a ride home from a football game, Josh fell asleep. The boys took this as a prime opportunity to give him a buzz cut. Josh lied on the cold window of the bus fast asleep unaware of the fact that when he woke up, his favorite thing about himself would be gone. That was the only time he would ever let himself fall asleep in front of those guys.

Now twenty-two years later, he still fussed about his precious locks. The funny thing was that I his wife did not even spend half the time on my hair as he did. I would have been totally happy buzzing all my hair just for the sake of simplicity. When I was diagnosed with brain cancer I finally found an excuse to get rid of my hair but yet through Josh found an incredible way to show his love for me.

I had been curled up on the couch for the majority of the day under a large blanket. My youngest daughter Chloe lied next to me as we watched a movie. I was slowly losing the battle to keep my eyes from closing, I was just beginning to slip away when I heard the front door open. I knew it was Josh so I attempted to sit up and look half way decent even though I did not have any hair.

He walked through the foyer whistling. Once he came into my line of vision, I instantly found no hair on his head. I sat up quickly actually causing a wave of nausea to come in. Once it passed, I looked at him again.

“Daddy, where did all your hair go?” Chloe nearly cried as she ran over to him. He scooped her up in his arms and she felt his head.

“It’s all gone, my little mouse.” He answered.

I had a pretty good idea why his hair was gone but I could not let myself believe it.
“Why is gone, honey?”

He put Chloe down and got down on his knees right before me. He grabbed my hands and rubbed his thumbs into mine. He looked up at me with tears filling his big blue eyes.

“For about a month you have been dealing with having a brain tumor, Kristen. I have had thirty one days to think over how I could be there for you, how I could ease your pain. Whenever you get sick, I try to be there by holding you and bring the hair out of your face. When you find yourself too weak to walk, I scoop you up and carry you like the princess you are to me.

“But despite all that easy stuff, how can I show you that I love you and even more that you are not alone in this? My hair being shaved off isn’t me just helping you not feel embarrassed about being bald, it’s more of a physical reminder that I am going through this with you. Every time you see my hair, or rather lack there of, I want you to remember that you are not alone in this. Okay, Kristen? When people ask what I did, I will gladly tell them the story. The story of how much I love my wife and want her to know I will do anything to prove it to her. My hair being gone is reminder to the kids, the church, to anyone, to you and me that we are in this together.”

I sat on the couch with tears streaming down my cheeks as I felt his head. I could not get over how wonderful my husband was. Over the last month, I confess I wondered if he would be brave enough to do it. I almost hoped that he would but I couldn’t get pass hope because he loved his hair too much. Now, I stood before my bald prince charming and fell even more in love with him.

“So who is the guy that thinks he can get away with hurting my wife?” he inquired putting on a deeper voice. I smiled through my tears. “No one will do anything to my wife and get away with it.”

I leaned in and kissed him. Every girl dreams of the day where her love will do something so drastic for her sake. It could be something small or something big, but every girl can honestly say she dreams of the day when her prince charming does something truly heroic. Though shaving his hair may have come across as simple, it was one of the most romantic things Josh had ever done for me. We sat there with our lips locked, our hair both gone, and our hearts entwined by such a simple act.

This Week...

Let's see...I got soo much out of the sermon on Sunday even though I was running on a few hours of sleep, I went to bible study and enjoyed fellowship. Monday I went to school despite feeling like I was on the urge of fainting all day, picked up one of my sixth grade darlings for her birthday to take her out to eat, and headed over to visit my 6th grade teacher from church for her birthday. Tuesday I worked a few hours and then faced my Golialth to be kicked out of my creative writing class. Wednesday I slept through History and didnt have to go to math, went to church and hung out with friends. Thursday I had a bad day at work that ended with a heartbreaking meeting, right after I flew by to babysitt five kiddos under four, and came home to have an emotional breakdown in the middle of the night. Friday I had slightly better day at work and came home to attempt homework but my mind didnt want to function, didnt help much that I threw up five times. Today however was dedicated to just sleeping and watching tv. Nothing less, nothing more. I needed a day to just be a veggie.

That was my week...how was yours? (psstt...Im working on a blog entry of what David probably went through when he killed golilith, stay tune) : )

God is Good

I can't get over how much I love my Savior right now! I have never found myself running so hard in my life. I am sooooooo happy and full of joy and I can only attribute it to God. He has restored my heart. I really never saw myself feeling this way again after last year. I imagined myself being cold and bitter for the rest of my life but you know what, God is my Father and He would never let me unfold like that. I am now, a year later, out on the other side with my hands thrown up in victory. I just cannot get over it!

So feeling this way, I am just so determined to love and adore Him always. He is my awesome God that has healed my broken heart and even took care of my greatest need and that is sin. I no longer am bond to its evil grasp. But with all this joy and strength I have been experiencing in the last few month, the devil has a pretty good way of throwing me off my focus. Please pray that I will cling to Him during this thing. It could be a very good thing but it is the wrong time so there for its a wrong thing. So please lift me up in prayer as I fight past this potentially determintal thing for my walk. Let me know, if I can pray for you in anyway! : )

Continuation of My Story...

The next day, I woke up to find my wife’s best friend Ethan Davis sitting in a chair next to my bed. He sat hunched over reading some sort of pamphlet; I tried to cock my head to get a better view of the material he flipped through. He sniffled.
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way my dear Callie.” He whispered to himself with his voice shaking.
He was always saying endearing things to her so I really did not think much of it. I found my self thinking more of that statement and wondering why I never thought much of it. He used to make it known quite often that he was supposed to end up marrying Callie. I would just ignore it thinking he was just jealous and could not really do much about it. however, I did feel he was untrustworthy. That feeling would lead to many arguments between my wife and me. She could not stand the idea of me not trusting Ethan. They had grown up together, he was very important in her life, how could I not trust him?
Now, he sat at my side in a hospital. Most people would be comforted by the generosity of giving up his time to come visit me. I on the other hand felt slightly curious why he would do it. He never really liked me and I felt the same about him. I just stared at him until he looked up and met me eye to eye.
“Hey there,” Ethan greeted warmly as he shut the book in his hands, “How you feeling there sir?”
“Fine. Now tell me what happened to Callie and the kids, and me for that matter?” I spent no time demanding for answers.
Ethan shook his head as if he would not reply to my quires, “It’s a shame what happened and even more so that I have to be the one to tell you.” He paused and took a deep breath that was slow and ragged, “Apparently you had a stroke on the way to Jenna’s soccer game. It must have happened as you were driving past a red light and that’s when a semi-truck slammed into the passenger’s side. The girls died instantly…Callie, precious Callie died on the way to the hospital.”
To say I was drowning in an ocean of emotions is a complete understatement. I lied in a hospital bed after suffering a stroke with the blood of my family on my hands. To die at that precise moment was all I wanted and almost asked for from Ethan.
“Your stroke was quite massive and has impaired several things. For one, your whole body is pretty much paralyzed. We also have no indication that you are able to talk quite yet. The doctors believe you will become normal after much, much rehabilitation. However, mentally you’ll never be normal being that you’re family is dead and it is because of you.” Ethan continued with a haunted tone that sent chills down my numb spine.
I realized that the reason the nurse and doctor did not reply to my questions was merely because I could not talk. It felt like I was talking but yet, it was not happening. However, not being able to communicate felt like the least of my problems. Even not being able to move body did not match up to the great guilt of my family’s death. I felt an awesome amount of grief weighed down on me. I missed my daughters already. Jenna was supposed to compete in the state championship for soccer fifteen minutes before she died. Lizzie had just entered the high school world with much anticipation for what would happen in the next four years of her life. I was solely responsible for cutting my daughters’ lives short.

The detrimental news caused my blood sugar to drop severely. I had a chronic battle with diabetes since I turned thirteen. Anytime I experience any high emotion, my sugar will drop. The morning of the accident, Callie and I fought intensely over something I cannot remember. As the argument became more heated, I felt more drained and unable to keep with any rebuttals against her thinking. Without me asking for it, Callie reached over and grabbed my needle of insulin. I told I could do it but she just glared at me and told me to lift up my shirt. As I pulled it up, she stabbed me with the medicine.
Shortly after that, we all prepared for the game. Callie insisted that she would drive out claiming I did not look like I could handle the drive out. I blocked her fighting and took the driver’s seat. Reluctant, she hopped in the passenger’s seat for our last car ride together and of course it was spent doing what we always did together- yelling and screaming.
Weeks after the fateful day of the accident went by and I was removed from the hospital. Out of the hospital, I was placed in a home care program where I had a nurse named Lucinda with me every moment of the day and into the night. She had to take care of the aspects of my life I took for granted. She helped me eat, get in and out of bed, take showers, and even cleaned me after I used the bathroom in a diaper. Rebekah was right, I had so much to overcome. I needed to learn how to be humble in letting people change me like I was three year old and yet I had to learn strength and healing with getting over the loss of my family.
The first time I came home was ultimately the most painful thing I have ever done. Smelling the sweet incense that reminded me of the woman, I fell in love with brought tears to my eyes. I began wishing I could start all over again. I wanted to make love to her with such a passion that would make her fall for me again. I desired to go back and make everything right again. Death and its massive weight slammed the door shut and would not ever open again.
Part of my recovery process was learning how to talk again. Slowly I made words out of mumbles and stutters. Who would have thought, learning to talk as thirty five year old would be so complex? I had the words in my mind but when they came out, it was something entirely different. It became quite the frustrating ordeal. I was told I would never be able to hold a conversation again with anybody. I found myself almost okay with that because I could not find anyone I desired to talk with other then my dead daughters and wife.
About once a week, Ethan came over and visited me. I could not verbalize any objections to his visits so I sat there and look disinterested. When my nurse finally told him, I would never carry a conversation with him again, he confessed he would not come back. I did not find myself upset but thankful. He reminded me way too much of Callie. His every visit was painful.
On his last visit, Lucinda asked if he could stay a little longer so she could run up to the corner store and get some milk. Ethan complied and she left. Ethan pulled up a seat next to where I laid on the couch. He cleared his throat,
“There’s something I have been wanting to tell you,” he gave a nervous laugh “you see your stroke wasn’t some random thing with in you. Callie and I well first off, have been seeing each other all nineteen years of your marriage. You had to know. Why you never pushed things, we could never figure it out, but in any regard we spent a lot of nights together. She told you the divorce would happen after the kids graduated only so there would not be any custody battles and that she and I could get married. That day seemed like an eternity so we tried to kill you.
“The insulin she gave you that morning wasn’t insulin. It was a liquid to help limit the blood supply to your brain thus giving you a pretty severe stroke and eventually killing you. However, our plan was ruined when you all went driving together and the stroke happens while you were driving. You killed half the plan without realizing it.
“Now why do I tell you all of this? Because Lucinda told me you would never talk again. You have no control over your hands to write anything, so you won’t be telling anyone what I just said to you.”
Ethan stood up and turned away to walk out of the door. Anger filled up inside of me that equaled more then any of the emotions I experienced in the last few months. I took a deep breath and with every piece of strength I had, I spoke with conviction that was determine to defend my daughters,
“That’s what you think.”

Life is Beautiful

Life is just stupendous (not stupid, -funny story about babysitting a two yr old who said stupendous) I am soooooo happpy these days. My happiness does not derive from my circumstances, it comes from the relationship with my Savior that I cannot get enough of and it evens out all the bad in my life. There are things that are hard right now- school (ugh), still lingerings of heartache that is slowly dissolving, and whatever else I am too happy to think of right now. However, it is okay, I know any pain I go through is for my Father's glory and advancement of the kingdom. So its okay really.

Last night I had the oppurtunity to go to see two christian comedians. What a blessing to laugh until I could no longer breathe at some free wholesome humor with some close friends! I could seriously make time for that every week. Man, I'm still in laughing mode! Then getting a chance to talk to the comedians was so nice and fun as well. Though it was a bit embarassing, one of them did harass Kevin and I bit. (Kevin- were you embarassed much by those comments as I was for you, I myself really just thought it hilarious and rolled with it. No need to respond on the blog if it brings more embarassment, hehe) Anywhoo...then we all went out for food- Yum!

Today I woke up way too early for any day, well except for Sundays, =7:30 and babysat my darlings Selena and Savanna (look up to see picture- we seriously could be related) . Once that was done Kelli (mom of darlings) and I ate lunch together and she caught up on my life. She confessed how she feels I'm one of her daughters and will always be apart of their family. Hehee...more adopted family members. But wait...Im pretty much paid to be apart of their family...yay! I should charge everyone. Haha...

Later tonight, I am going swing dancing with two of my lovely girls Michelle Johnson and Emily Horadoko! I can't wait! : ) But before that, I think Im gonna try to swing in some reading for class and defintely aim for a nap. I got home last night after midnight and in my bed by one thirty. Couldnt sleep forever and then got up at 7:30...soooo I is tired. : )

My Short Story

I had to write a story for Creative Writing, here is the first chapter...enjoy and tell me what you think! : )

Slowly my eyes opened to be greeted by a blinding bright light and quickly forced shut. I attempted to open them again slowly but yet painfully. Once my eyes found it easier to adjust to the blinding room, I looked around to catch my bearings. I could not find anything I recognized no matter where I looked.
Where am I? My thoughts inquired. Wasn’t I just on my way to take Jenna and everybody to her soccer game? I reasoned that maybe the day was long over but I could not remember any of the game. I could remember driving to the game and when I took a wrong turn, having my wife Callie yelling at me. As I turned the car around, I looked her way. Even though she is calling me obscene names, I cannot help but think of how beautiful she looks with her golden hair dancing in the wind.
Fifteen years of marriage, most of it fighting, and yet bits of it at peace. We came into an agreement that we would wait till our youngest daughter graduated high school until we would divorce. Sometimes, that day seemed like a distant thunderstorm on a lake. Slow to come and hit but yet the rumbles could be heard and seen for miles. Our youngest daughter was fourteen…could we wait four more years of agony. I convinced myself it was four years of turning things around and making the best out of them. However, my wife wanted none of it she reminded me every night that she could not wait till Lizzie graduated. Every time she would utter those painful words, a piece of my heart would fall to the depths of my stomach.
However, all I can remember of the half an hour drive out to Lake Placid Park was Callie yelling at me. I tried to force my head to recollect more, it went horribly blank and would not let me go any further. Focusing on getting my memory to give me more of what happen was interrupted by a female humming coming closer to me. The theme song of jeopardy she hummed as she approached me. Then a sound of more footsteps stopped her.
“How’s he doing?” a male voice inquired.
“He is awake which is a miracle in and of itself.” She, I assumed, was a nurse replied.
I wanted to know what they were talking about, “Miracle that I am awake, what happened to me? I attempted to sit up but could not move. So I opened my mouth and began to talk,
“Excuse me, why am I here? Why is it a-“ I abruptly was interrupted by their conversation.
In a hushed tone, the nurse asked “When should we tell him that his family died in the accident upon impact?”
“Probably later this week when we know he will be coherent enough to take it.” The doctor replied.
“What? There was an accident?” I took a deep breath and nearly screamed as they did not acknowledge my question let alone my existence.
“He’s going to make it, it will be a long and painful recovery though.” With that said, the doctor turned away and left.
The nurse suddenly came into my line of vision. Her dark brown hair was pulled into a tight ponytail and her bright green eyes skimmed over me like I was a science experiment. She took a clipboard from one of the machines that continued to beep regularly and jotted a few notes down.
“How are you doing, Mr. Marshall?”
Finally, you are actually talking to me I thought, “I would be much better if I knew why I was here and what happened to my family.”
She turned away and played with a few of the machines hooked up to my bed. When she turned around and made eye contact with me again, she pushed her lips together as contemplating whether or not to tell me.
“Just tell me. I’m sure I can handle it.” I begged. I squinted my eyes to focus them on her name tag, “Rebekah, tell me where my family is.”
She shakes her head, “You poor thing, you have so much to overcome.”

Marvelous Sunday

I love Sundays...which is funny because a year ago I would have told you I dreaded them. I dreaded them only because I viewed my Sundays as all about my circumstances and how I felt. There were times I forced myself out of bed every Sunday morning and prepared to be emotionally kicked in the stomach. If you have no idea what happened to me last year then you really don't get why I would relate church to getting kicked in the stomach. You can ask, if you so desire, I just don't want to spend this blog ranting about things that have unfolded in my life. If you do know and you notice me doing it, please yell at me. It's been a year now, things have gotten resolved, and now we must bury this part of life we all seem to go through.
Anywhoo...my favorite part of church was service. First, along with all the other women in the church probably, I cried during Pastor Bob and Mrs Johnson anniversay special. I love seeing marriages last as the center their love is in Christ. I lost it when Mrs. Johnson cried. I love that couple so much. Before the tear jerker scene...my default best cousin friend got baptized and that was just amazing. I love Katey! : )
Then the sermon....ahhhhhhhh I didn't want him to stop anytime soon. The sermon went much too fast and I could have listened for hours more. Idolatry is really the biggest struggle of my life. I have been fighting it along with God as my help for years. Someday, with God as my help, I will defeat that sin. : )

Forecast for a Busy Weeekend

Let's see....Friday (which is tomorrow) I am working 11:30-6. Then I will drive out to Jeff and Debby Wuttke's house to scrapbook with Debby at our favorite place till about midnight or later. Once we get back to her house we will probably watch a movie with Jeff...maybe, depends how tired we are. If we aren't tired we just may scrapbook the entire night away. Or if sleep is an option, Im sleeping over their house.
I'm sleeping over because my next destination on Saturday is closer to the Wuttkes home then my house is. I will be driving out to Auburn Hills sometime after ten to go pick up my adopted sister Hannah Whetherholt. After her mother helps me with some math honework, Hannah and I will be running out to Great Lakes Crossing (which is not a nature resevoir like my wierd 5th grade mind thought when it first opened up) to go shopping for the day. I may attempt getting some Christmas shopping done and over with before life ends with all the Christmas commercialism. Which is a major reason Iam not looking forward to Christmas. I love Christmas, I really do, but when you work at Hallmark during it, you really have to push yourself to enjoy it. The message, beautiful. Everything else...I think Scrooge put it well "Bahumbug!"
Anywhoo...after shopping with Hannah for the entire day probably, I have to drop her off at like 5 and then take our brother Corey (her real brother, my adopted one) over to our Ignite hang out. Ignite is the 6th grade program (who i am a leader along with five awesome leaders) at church and every month we get them together and do something. Every other month we do a service activity and then on the other month we do a fun activity. This time we are heading over to Joseph Wasil's (one of the leaders) to play Capture the Flag and Flashlight Tag. After that, Corey and I will meet his mother half way somewhere to drop him off.
Sunday is church which is amazing! (I love the fact that week by week, no matter how crazy life is, I have that to look forward too) And then I believe I am leaving church early to go to The Holocaust muesem which makes me happy. I love studying that period in life where the Devil got away with so much. Then when we get back from that, we are having a Roseville celebration at church. Once that is done, I have to come home and study for a math test (gag noise) I wont get to go to bible study :( Which I feel really bad...because my entire weekend I am doing such menial stuff but cant make time for bible study. Tears.
Can I be a nerd for a moment and then I will let you stop reading this? Yes I know I am a nerd I acknowledge that quite proudly. One of the fun games I play, is when I hear classical or soundtracks I try to guess what movie they are from. I am not too bad at this game. I used to play it at hallmark a lot with one of the other girls. However there is this one song I loved listening too and always come close to tears hearing it. It would play every so often and we both knew it was from a movie but neither of us could guess it. It has been a year of guessing and trying to figure it out. Well...tonight I found the song and found where it's from. I am soooo excited! Its from Schlinder List...aha! : ) anywhoo...I am just happy that the year long mystery is solved. : )

***Picture: My adopted siblings, left from right, Elise, Corey, and Hannah. I love them sooo much! When you babysitt the same kids every morning for six months and live with them for five days while their mom is remarried and on her honeymoon, you would love them too! : )

Our Harvest Party

I work at Macomb Christian's day care. and today we had our harvest party. We werent allowed to say the "H" word (halloween). I was the roaming photographer for the three hours of good fun. So I had to get to work around 8:15 this morning and ran around for hours trying to take pictures. I didn't take too many...well that was a lie...only 500 in the matter of three hours. I had to take everyone's potrait picture by a little scene with hay, pumpkins and gords. Out of like eighty children, I only had two give me a problem when going to take theres. They had to choose a gord to pose with. Then I just ran crazy all over the place to cover everyone for pictures. I didn't sit down till about 12:30ish and apparently I shouldn't have sat down at that point. (I kind of got in trouble for sitting down for eating my lunch as I helped all my children with their food troubles. but oh well...) We had a pinta full of candy and all the children got to hit it once, the teachers (and me) and parents got to all hit it. That was soooo funny! The picture is of little Jonah (whos older brother, in the orange shirt, is in the day care) who grabbed the head and thats all he cared about. It was a realllllllyyyy fun day! But I am sooooooooo tired...kind of a physically and emotionally draining day. Alright, I'm somehow going to pick one picture to represent today. : )

A Good Saturday

Today was just a wonderful day! I hung out with my familia I took a million pictures, and the weather was simply wonderful.
It all started around 8:00ish this morning with my mother waking us up with singing the mickey mouse song by converting it into what was happening today. It was hilarious and just started the day off so wonderfully. Then half an hour later, we all hopped into mom's car and drove out to eighteen mile to Sarahs soccer game. Dad and I took a walk, since we were there an hour before the game started, and took pictures. I love my father so much, being able to talk to him was such a blessing. I make fun of him for all the lectures he never seems stop giving. However, I am finding them a treat and wanting more when I spend time with him. Though, he does give the most random ones. I remember when he was driving me to school my sophomore year one day, he told me I should make sure before getting a job that my commute to work is good. I laughed because of all things a father could warn his daughter about, he decides this is the best thing for that day. Then again, his oldest daughter wasn't really into most things other girls were at her age. I mean I was always claiming I wouldnt get involved with any guy until after high school...well just about ten days after high school I found myself invovled with a boy for the first time...but we all know how that panned out. ; )
Anywhoo...then just before the game started Mr Rogers came and joined us. Now, boys and girls before you get to excited thinking the childhood hero resurrected, that is my dad's nickname for our intern Kevin Root. Kevin is a staggering (well to me) 6'2 guy who tends to sport one of three cardigans in blue, red, and brown. I cant see any other guy being allowed to get away with such happy clothing choices. (I say this because he may read this since I read his blog a lot) Anywhoo...he hung out and talked to my dad the entire game. I interjected every once in awhile. It was good to sort of catch up with him and see what his plans are.
After we lost the game (Sarah made an awesome attempt at a goal but missed) our family ditched Kevin (well he walked away first, so maybe he ditched us) and headed over to a Cider Mill. We had sooo much fun. I took oodles and oodles of pictures. We got donuts, fudge (which I havent had any yet...hmm), and the best tasting cider ever. We all then took naps when we got home...so nice!
Then mom and I cracked open the math book and studied. Even though I had a pretty nasty headache, we made it through. We watched the 2nd part of the documentary we've been following and now, here we are. It was such a blessed day. Tomorrow is church and Im looking forward too, especially having a chance to actually sit in on worship time. : )

happiness vs. contentment

My contentment is hinged not on my circumstances, how much money I make, if I have a boyfriend, if all my friends adore me, and or if Im doing well in school and etc. If I allowed these things to bring me my contentment, I constantly would find myself not truly happy because these things are temporal and prone to fail me. These things bring me happiness something that can be washed away in the next tide, but I find my happiness in Christ and that leads to contentment. Christ is NEVER going to fail me or leave me.

Sometimes I lose focus and try to find my contenment in the temporal things and wonder why I am unhappy. Then I realize, ohhhh yeahh I have something so much better to spend my time loving and trying to be like. The amazing thing is too is everytime I come back from losing my way, my Father opens up His arms and takes me back...EVERYTIME! : )